Ti amo tesoro mio...

Sweetheart,
I somehow didn't want to write a typical 'I can't live without you', 'You mean the world' kind of stuff 'cos you already know very well what the two of us share and I didn't want to trivialise our bond by stating the obvious and acting mushy about it in a letter. This is just a thank-you note on this Valentine's from my side. Thanks for putting that smile on my face by cracking a joke just when I would be tensed and worried about something. Thanks for laughing at all those silly jokes of mine. Thanks for patiently listening to me when I would just go on blabbering about my own little problems. Thanks for calling me up again the next day even after I would go off to sleep over the phone while you tried sharing your little problems with me. Thank you for always taking the initiative to set things straight between us after a fight, knowing very well that I'm too stubborn and stuck-up to take the first step. Thanks for somehow not letting the physical distance between us affect what we share. Thanks for making me feel important and loved. Thanks for just making me feel complete. Thanks for being so understanding and caring. In short, thanks for just being there. :) You might think that I do not notice and appreciate these small things because I never mention it but these things do mean a lot to me and you're indeed special and I do love you a lot. Just remain the way you are :)

I've written a poem for you as well. Somehow the poem doesn't do justice to what I feel for you but this is the best I could come up with right now....



At times like these…

When I am feeling
down and out.
When my dreams have gone dumb,
but my nightmares shout.

At times like these…

When my picture perfect
life seems shattered.
When I don’t have the strength
to pick the pieces that lay scattered.

At times like these…

When my ship is caught
in a sea that’s unruly.
When my shore looms afar
and my guiding star I can’t see.

At times like these…

When there is no sinew left
to take one more step.
When my spirit is bereaved of
all the verve and pep.

At times like these…

When this world is mocking me
and I feel withered.
When my today is insipid
and my tomorrow is blurred.

At times like these…

I close my eyes
and picture thee.
I am rekindled and enflamed
by the warmth surrounding me.

At times like very these…

I search my soul
and feel your presence.
I submit to you.
I surrender to your essence.


Ti amo tesoro mio :)

A letter from the past...

Sundays are always reserved for cleaning up my room, cupboard and drawers and rummaging through my drawers always brings up some memorabilia that touches a raw nerve somewhere . I love keeping notes, letters, old photographs, cards and other stuff (which might seem like junk to other people) but never fail to bring back old memories. Today, I came across this really old letter that I had written for a loved one after we had decided to part our ways. My handwriting seems so different in this letter and it seems even more ancient because it has been written with an ink pen. Some of the words have faded and the letter seems all frayed with creases because of the numerous times that I have unfolded, read and then re-folded the letter to keep it back inside the envelope. I'm posting certain parts of the letter here because I felt like sharing it...

Incidentally, the letter was never read by the person whom it was written for. She sent back the letter without reading it :)



Sweetheart,


It's rightly said that you don’t know what you have until its gone. It’s also rightly said that words are a poor medium of expression. But I’ll still try to pen down those things that I could never express and which were left unsaid. How I wish time had stood still! How I wish you had heard the unsaid! How I wish that life wasn't so unfair! How I wish we could hold hands and live our dream again!How I wish I could be there when you really needed me! How I wish I could say that ‘sorry’ when it really mattered! How I wish I could take back those harsh words that I had spoken! How I wish I could give you that hug during all those lonely times! How I wish I could listen to the music of the stars with you again! How I wish I could whisper those ‘magical words’ when you really wanted to hear them!How I wish I could show you that you are my only one! How I wish I knew then that love is not just about caring, but also about sharing! How I wish I could get you to stay back when you loved me! How I wish I hadn’t been so blind to your true feelings! How I wish I had said and done those little things that really matter! How I wish I could undo all those things that went wrong! How I wish I had told you how happy I was that you were mine! How I wish I could see that warmth in your eyes again! How I wish you knew you were always on my mind! How I really wish I had spoken my silence in words…


Anyway, I won’t drag this letter too much. I won’t make it more difficult for you by talking about old memories. This letter is just a confession. A confession of my regret and a confession of my undying love. You must be wondering why I’m not sitting beside you while you’re reading this letter and watching you read. It’s because I’ve realized that I’ve wronged you and what would be worse would be to force you to come back, so I’ve left my silence and absence with you wrapped in this envelope until you wish to come back to me. I can only hope that you always remember me, remember us and the special bond that we shared. And as years go by, our paths will get separated, we might drift apart completely and we might never meet again, but if you ever think of me, will you remember that I love you very much?


Wishing you all the best in life,
Your Superman