Yes, my first poem after a really long time. So I thought I'll write a poem on the hiatus. I'm not very satisfied with this poem. I guess I'm still rusty from my long break. Anyway, do check up the poem and be generous in your comments :D
A deep slumber, a dead silence,
A lack of existence, black roses in remembrance,
An empty sigh, a lone tear in the eye,
An endless languor, an emaciated life,
An exile- by choice or by force?
Beyond the abyss, in the realms of passion,
The gurgle of thoughts, the unshackling of crippled emotions,
Erasing the calligraphy of nothingness, caressing the breath of imagination,
I give birth to myself, yes, once again.
Like a stream, my dreams flow free.
By choice not force!
10 comments:
Very smooth transition back into the wonderful world of poetry...I see no rust at all. Beautiful piece!
Thanks for those encouraging words :) I personally felt that I could have worked on the ending a little bit more. It didn't look very smooth to me.
Lol! you do the very same thing that I do. The beauty of creating poetry is having the ability to change a line just as we change...I always go through my work and make changes here and there.
But honestly, I found it perfect. But then again, we are always our own worst critics, aren't we?
nice. "he not busy being born is busy dying" welcome back.
@Terri: Thanks for following my blog so keenly :) I'll be visiting your blog soon. :)
And yes, we are always our own worst critics. Lol!
@Gerry: Ah yes! Bob Dylan at his best :) Thanks for visiting :)
welcom back...quite a long wait for ur readers...
keep penning...
Wonderful!!loved the poem especially the lines...
"........ in the realms of passion,
The gurgle of thoughts, the unshackling of crippled
emotions,
Erasing the calligraphy of nothingness, caressing the breath of imagination,
I give birth to myself...."
Welcome back!!
it reminded me a lot of v for vendetta, i enjoyed it.
The last line of each stanza lend so much to each other. But as u mentioned the transition ain't that good. U could have built up on tryin to shift from teh blackness to teh brights sun. The gray area always helps.
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