seven syllables, etc... until line nine that finishes with one syllable. It goes like this:
line 1 - 9 syllables
line 2 - 8 syllables
line 3 - 7 syllables
line 4 - 6 syllables
line 5 - 5 syllables
line 6 - 4 syllables
line 7 - 3 syllables
line 8 - 2 syllables
line 9 - 1 syllable
Oh how good was he that lies in shrouds,
A friend in need, good friend indeed.
Slain brave in war’s rage forefront,
Soldier firm; corpse in flag.
Widow, then two kids,
Unconsoled weeps.
Gun salute,
Echoes,
Sighs.
11 comments:
nice nonnet....its nice to know about this new form...keep posting!!
good one,
came across the haiku form from u,
and tried it.
will try this one too!
keep it up! :)
The second line takes a lot away from the poem. Dont like that. The classic touch (I think) goes down the drain with that one. Maybe try and replace that one line.
Otherwise, I have a question : did u come up with the concept first or did u think a nonnet and then the concept?
And I like the last three 'lines'.
this is the problem with 'little knowledge' as one of ur frnds who has commented has shown. infact, i've been noticing her attention-seeking comments all over your blog and this latest comment was the final straw. when will ppl learn that just criticising for the sake of criticism and to be different doesn't really help cuz ur ignorance is bound to show up in someway or the other.
the second line, like the rest of ur poem fits perfectly well in the poem cuz the poem is not just doing the job of shedding a syllable in every line as ur frnd must have been prompt to notice after reading up on Google but also follows a sequence in time and events; and helps in going from the feeling of everything to nothing. and the silence at the end is the killer because it adds the vacuum. its a perfect nonet; one of the best ones I've come across. =)
moral of the story: poetry is an extremely deep thing and shallow people cannot be expected to understand the depth that ur poetry goes into.
I couldn't have agreed with Arpita more. I've read many nonnets but haven't come across one that is more beautiful. Fantastic... another master of syllables with another masterpiece of a poem..
the theme, the style of writing, the choice of words, the arrangement of lines... everything!
A beauty, Wandering Gypsy!
The subject is touching...
The poetry technique is excellent.
And u r wonderful as always. Didnt know that even technical poetry could be so touching. Its a perfect work in fewest of words
another masterpiece from you...beautiful to the core...from content to style.....from feel to form.....how beautifully you have put this touching situation in just a few skillfully framed words.... :)
From the third line onwards, the nonnet looks at the soldier as an entity that dies bravely and at war. The second line takes away from its entirety because it talks about why and for whom the soldier died even though in an abstract form.
And about going from time frame to the other : "as usual" I'd have to disagree because the reference frame shifts (FoR as it is called). It goes from the outline of a cold corpse to what a family might feel when told about the death of a family member. it does NOT focus on the individuality of the soldier but on the bigger picture as to the ripple effects of a death.
And the last three lines when read in quick succession leave the reader abound. And I never questioned that. =)
And about why a certain friend of his makes attention seeking comments is because she has an opinion and is rather fond of pointing out what she thinks is missing or is not right according to HER. You can or cannot agree.
And yes, she also googles terms. Inclusive of a nonnet.
Wow. Geometric beauty ... but so sad.
did not know about this form of poetry..thank you.. and this one is nice... :)
Great blog posst
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